A delicate subject

[goldenstate]

Dear Abby,

There's no easy way to put this. I'm having trouble with my balls.

My scupper balls, of course, is what I mean. They float in the cockpit drain scuppers. I think they are meant to prevent waves from washing sea water back into my cockpit.

But my balls are grimey. They settle in the scuppers and prevent rainwater from draining through. The standing rainwater makes slow leaks a problem in areas that otherwise would not face standing water.

Here is a video I made about my balls:

I don't know how much my balls really help me. I know it sounds radical, but I think I may have them removed.

What should I do?

Yours sincerely,

Considering Castration in California

 

[Geoff W.]

Delightful must be a eunuch because I don't have anything like that, and I don't get much water back into the cockpit. Only when heeled over way too far, and only so much that it slightly fills the lower corner. I'd just take 'em out... the water going down seems way more important than the water coming up.

My scuppers were draining slowly due to scummy buildup so I held a high-pressure hose nozzle point blank at each one until the shmutz got blown out the other side. That said, I'll probably change the scupper hoses at some point and start anew...but no balls.

 

[Alan Gomes]

Delightful must be a eunuch because I don't have anything like that, and I don't get much water back into the cockpit. Only when heeled over way too far, and only so much that it slightly fills the lower corner. I'd just take 'em out... the water going down seems way more important than the water coming up.

My scuppers were draining slowly due to scummy buildup so I held a high-pressure hose nozzle point blank at each one until the shmutz got blown out the other side. That said, I'll probably change the scupper hoses at some point and start anew...but no balls.

Agreed. You might also consider removing the strainer.

 

[Christian Williams]

Lots of products for one-way cockpit drains, which seem to me a solution in search of a problem. Much like check valves in bilge pump hoses.

To each his own, of course.

Cockpit Drains & Scuppers - T-H Marine Supplies

thmarinesupplies.com

 

[Chris Mc.]

I’m sitting here thinking about something I had no intention of thought; your balls.
Best laugh I’ve had today and sorry I have no solution.

 

[Kenneth K]

I gotta say.... my mind went right to this scene from Monty Python's Meaning Of Life:

Dad: So you see my problem, little ones... I can't keep you here​

any longer.​

​

Shout from the back: Speak up!​

​

Dad: [raising his voice] I can't keep you here any longer... God​

has blessed us so much that I can't afford to feed you​

anymore.​

​

Boy: Couldn't you have your balls cut off...?​

​

Dad: It's not as simple as that Nigel... God knows all... He would​

see through such a cheap trick. What we do to ourselves, we do​

to Him...​

​

Voice: You could have them pulled off in an accident?​

​

[Other voices suggest ways his balls can be removed.]​

​

Dad: No... no... children... I know you're trying to help but​

believe me, my mind's made up. I've given this long and​

careful thought. And it's medical experiments for the lot of​

you...​

​

[The children emerge singing a melancholy reprise of​

'Every Sperm is Sacred.']​

​

 

[Christian Williams]

And now for something completely off topic:

Current Python doc "M.P The Lawyers' Cut" on Netflix reveals the troupe's rather unflattering views of each other, its gallant bonhomie steeped in sarcasm, ego, self-loathing, money, resentment, and golly did you know Graham Chapman was drunk the whole time, and, gasp, a homosixual ? Pythons report themselves awful shocked at both those reveals. More shocking still is the very odd and coldly disfunctional interrelationships behind some of the most timely (then and now) and subversive comedy of the previous century.

 

[Filkee]

I recall being at a party in LA in the late 90s at (I think) Robbie Coltrane’s house and seeing Eric Idle on a chez asking a small child if her mum was a “Goer, say no more.” I think and I hope it was his daughter and I choose to remember it as cute.

 

[Guy Stevens]

Remove them and clean or replace them. Replacements are available if they no longer preform satisfactory or if your wife doesn't like them.
My wife regularly removes mine, cleans them flushes out the hoses connected to them, and puts them back.
Perko makes replacements.
Soap in particular seems to make them sticky, so make sure you rinse them really well after washing!
If you take a deck fill key (the kind with the two shafts), you can spin off the covers, then the balls should pop up on their own. If they don't add some water from a hose and they will float out of the fittings. If that fails you can generally get a small bladed screw driver under them and pop them out. Be careful of the bronze casting, the balls are replaceable so if you have to damage something to get them out, damage your balls not the hole they go into....
There are three sizes of balls available from Perko last time I checked so make sure you get the right ones.

 

[Filkee]

A sure sign of sprig here in the great white north, I’m considering asking my doctor if balls are right for me. I do have an anxiety-provoking amount of water coming in my starboard scupper when I’m heeling hard. Said anxiety stems from the water threatening to consume the keyhole in my engine panel. Am I overreacting? Should I jam an old joker valve down the hole?

 

[Loren Beach]

A sure sign of sprig here in the great white north, I’m considering asking my doctor if balls are right for me. I do have an anxiety-provoking amount of water coming in my starboard scupper when I’m heeling hard. Said anxiety stems from the water threatening to consume the keyhole in my engine panel. Am I overreacting? Should I jam an old joker valve down the hole?

I wonder if it might help to try the "traditional" hose routing method of crossing the drain hoses, so that the port scupper exits thru the starboard thruhull, and so on...?
And, FWIW, ours were not done that way by the factory either.

 

[Sailingfun]

I gonna give you the same suggestion my mother gave to me years ago... son, you need to keep your balls always clean to avoid odors....
Remove the strainer is opens that area to leaking. On my E27, water at the cockpit runs to the back where is a hole directly to the ocean. But the previous owner sits a diesel breather just at the angle, next to the cabin hatch. The other day, I found out that thing is leaking badly... Bad decision! Similar situation like you but in my case I will remove the culprit and cut the leak for good

 

[K2MSmith]

Lots of products for one-way cockpit drains, which seem to me a solution in search of a problem. Much like check valves in bilge pump hoses.

To each his own, of course.

Cockpit Drains & Scuppers - T-H Marine Supplies

thmarinesupplies.com

Not to hijack the thread but I’m thinking of putting the check valve back into the bilge hose to reduce flow back ( and my loop isn’t that much higher then thru hull so I worry about it siphoning back while sailing . ) . Ordered a jabsco ( that can be taken apart ) . What is the danger.?

 

[Kenneth K]

All my scupper lines have Marlon ball valves attached at the thru-hulls. I guess it would be a pain if you were tacking a lot, but for a long tack I'd just close the low-side valve. Looks like the factory setup to me.

 

[Christian Williams]

check valve back into the bilge hose to reduce flow back

Full discussion here. If you do add one, consider that if/when they clog, the bilge pump doesn't work. Consider that if you have to cut a clogged check valve out, the pickup hose must still reach the bilge.

 

[Sean Engle]

Remove them and clean or replace them. Replacements are available if they no longer preform satisfactory or if your wife doesn't like them.
My wife regularly removes mine, cleans them flushes out the hoses connected to them, and puts them back.
Perko makes replacements.
...

This is what I was going to say. Open them up and clean them or replace with with another. Something designed as a safeguard (stopping water from back flowing) becomes liability (failed drainage after getting pooped) if not maintained....

One gallon of water is 8 lbs; so a 50 gallon sudden deposit that won't drain quickly is a major problem.

 

[Filkee]

All my scupper lines have Marlon ball valves attached at the thru-hulls. I guess it would be a pain if you were tacking a lot, but for a long tack I'd just close the low-side valve. Looks like the factory setup to me.

Lake sailors tack often. It’s times like this that I wish I was about a foot shorter to be able to actually fit in the laz.