Tough decision-- when to sell the boat

[Norwester]

I hear you, Frank. And, I know you may value the words/thoughts/advice from folks, like @Bolo .

"Life, I've learned..." I share with buyers and sellers with whom I seem to share some sentiment during the transactions, "...is a negotiation." Reflecting on this, I believe I share it with them to open us to the possibility of creating an authentic transaction before us. In reality, it's probably just self-talk to remind ME to create a transaction with which I'll be satisfied ENOUGH.

No one of us will just say: "Today's the day, Frank. Let her go." (Well, Venmo me a c-note, and I will.) In fact, everyone here is supporting you in this journey. In fact I'm so grateful for you and your willingness to share these questions before you. We all will encounter something similar, whether boat Sailboat, Motorboat, Motor Home, or Rest Home; and I hope I will have the fortune of making a "choice" rather than a decision, as this word's Latin origin, dēcīdere, means "to cut off."

Some choices: #1. Have this conversation with family...in person. #2 Find someone local (via friends, family, Nanaimo Yacht Club, Nanaimo Yacht Club Sailing School) willing to purchase 50% ownership or even 100% and openly discuss what it might look like to continue to be involved with the things you love... maintenance and sailing sometimes. #3. ??

As some may have heard, V. Oliver, "The Lobster Lady" died this week in Maine at 105. Virginia Oliver told The Associated Press in 2021, “I like doing it, I like being along the water, And so I’m going to keep on doing it just as long as I can.”

 

[Dave G.]

So I was just watching this recent video form Christian and thought wow this is so on point for this very topic. As always with his videos, enjoy !

 

[Frank Langer]

So I was just watching this recent video form Christian and thought wow this is so on point for this very topic. As always with his videos, enjoy !

Dave,
Thanks so much for posting this video--I think it's maybe one of Christian's best, very personal, inspiring, reassuring and speaks so directly to the subject of this discussion.
Thanks, Christian, for your insights!
Much to think about...
Frank

 

[mjsouleman]

Frank,

I am 74 and purchased a 1977 E-36 C from the 80 yr old previous owner. He made the decision to sell a sailboat he loved and buy a troller. I hope to have another 10 years of sailing before we part.

I made a promise to myself, my wife, and the boat that I would take care of her as long as I could. When the time comes that I can not, I will let her go. It is a hard promise and I will struggle like yourself when the time comes.

Blessings to you my friend

 

[Bolo]

While a nice sentiment, how in your older age will you maintain your boat to a reasonable standard? How often will you, or a family member, actually take her out and raise her sails?
I would appreciate any serious thoughts or advice you have on this-- we're a similar age, and I'm trying to think this all through.
I still do almost all my own maintenance, partly to save money but more so because I know I'll do it well, and many professionals don't care as much about my boat as I do, they're also often unreliable.
I still sail fairly regularly, including on nice days in winter, but now try to avoid the more challenging 20 to 25 knot wind and waves.
But I can tell that I'm not as nimble, strong or confident as when younger, and I have less patience and resilience when problems arise, so I know the clock is ticking...
Frank

Frank, I suggest that if you haven't already view Christian William's latest video.

My personal philosophy on getting old is "KEEP MOVING" even if it hurts a bit. I have the usual aliments that most people in their seventies have along with a few extra. Asthma, sinusitis, treatable hypertension...I could go on. I take at least 9 different meds per day and yes it does get in the way of my sailing abilities. I have arthritis in my right shoulder joint and I favor that side when using a winch. The solution? Use my left arm or (and I'M seriously considering this) buy an electric winch handle. I too do my own maintenance but not as quickly as I did before. Stuff I can't do myself I hire "pros" to do it for me. I put a lot more thought into how I'll solve a problem on the boat (or at home for that matter) rather than jump right into it. Basically I've "adjusted" the way I do things because I still want to do things on my own. I'm not surrendering and I'll probably be going down fighting.

But a day will come when it'll be time to tie the dock lines up one more time. When will that be? When I turn 80? 85? 90? I haven't a clue but I'll know and the boat will be sold or donated to the Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum. These days I try to avoid winds over 25 knots if possible but sometimes it kicks up to 30 knots and I can still handle it to get home. I've seen guys golfing in their 90's. Now golfing isn't like sailing but they still get out there and are engaged. I feel that same about my passion too.

 

[Prairie Schooner]

I hear you, Frank. And, I know you may value the words/thoughts/advice from folks, like @Bolo .

"Life, I've learned..." I share with buyers and sellers with whom I seem to share some sentiment during the transactions, "...is a negotiation." Reflecting on this, I believe I share it with them to open us to the possibility of creating an authentic transaction before us. In reality, it's probably just self-talk to remind ME to create a transaction with which I'll be satisfied ENOUGH.

No one of us will just say: "Today's the day, Frank. Let her go." (Well, Venmo me a c-note, and I will.) In fact, everyone here is supporting you in this journey. In fact I'm so grateful for you and your willingness to share these questions before you. We all will encounter something similar, whether boat Sailboat, Motorboat, Motor Home, or Rest Home; and I hope I will have the fortune of making a "choice" rather than a decision, as this word's Latin origin, dēcīdere, means "to cut off."

Some choices: #1. Have this conversation with family...in person. #2 Find someone local (via friends, family, Nanaimo Yacht Club, Nanaimo Yacht Club Sailing School) willing to purchase 50% ownership or even 100% and openly discuss what it might look like to continue to be involved with the things you love... maintenance and sailing sometimes. #3. ??

As some may have heard, V. Oliver, "The Lobster Lady" died this week in Maine at 105. Virginia Oliver told The Associated Press in 2021, “I like doing it, I like being along the water, And so I’m going to keep on doing it just as long as I can.”

This is a great insight. I tend to fall into binary thinking. But there might be something in between that would work for you.

 

[Vtonian]

And some of us are just too dumb to quit...

I heard recently of the story of Manfred Fritz Bajorat, found mummified at the chart table of his boat and thought, what a perfect way to go.

 

[Christian Williams]

And some of us are just too dumb to quit...

I heard recently of the story of Manfred Fritz Bajorat, found mummified at the chart table of his boat and thought, what a perfect way to go.

Oh raaather! The fellow was an inspiration to me for certain developments in my novel Rarotonga.

 

[Alan Gomes]

Just a few random thoughts here....

I'm 70. At some point I realize I may not be be able to keep doing this, but I'm fine at the moment. As others have correctly noted, It's important to be realistic and to keep a close eye on yourself--especially if you do lots of single handing, which is what I do the vast majority of the time.

One thing that's important to do, regardless of age--but particularly as we age--is to work out, especially with strength training. As we age, balance goes, and that's a real deal breaker for sailing. I'm on Medicare with a supplement, and I can access any number of really fine gyms through the so-called "Silver Sneakers" program. Working on your arms (for pulling up that anchor rode or halyard!) and legs (for general balance) is really important for DELAYING (not eliminating) the decline that may force you to swallow the anchor. Personally, I hate exercise. For this reason, I asked one of my retired colleagues, who is an exercise nut, to take me on as a project. He loves going to the gym whereas I don't enjoy it much at all. But I do enjoy being there with him and he loves coaching me. I go twice a week--not as much as he'd like me to go, but there you have it. Having him hold me accountable does help because it would be very easy for me not to do it at all. I still need to lose some weight, and being careful about diet is always a point of vigilance. But the reward of knowing that I can extend the time I can still do my solo Catalina trips (such as I'm doing this Monday) is a motivator.

Regarding boat maintenance: I have a little E26, and I've thought at times of getting something larger. Money is not really the issue, especially now that the bottom has dropped out of the used boat market. But my little boat is already fixed up the way I like her and does what I need. Plus, I've found that whenever I buy a new-to-me boat, it takes me about 5 years to dial it in to be what I want. And I'm not talking about buying a fixer upper, which I've never done. I don't want to carve out 5 years to mess around with fitting out a new boat the way I want it. The one I have works great for my writing retreats at Catalina--which, as I say, I do solo. I'll be doing the amateur radio Field Day again this year, but this time with a friend. So yes, the 26 will be a bit tighter than usual, and I'd probably wish it were a 32 or 34 footer. But it will do the job. So it's a trade off, to be sure.

And then, there is the fact that there is more to life than sailing. While I enjoy it and would like to continue it, if and when the time comes to give it up, I'll still have plenty of other less physically taxing activities to do. Since retiring from the university at the end of 2024, I've been working on a really large writing project for a publisher, serving as a general editor with 6 other scholars working with/under me. It's really satisfying work, and I love staying in the game. But relationships with family and friends are, of course, the most important thing of all. My wife and I are planning to split our time between California and Tennessee so we can be with our grandbaby. But the boat is ready and waiting for me when I want to use it--I hope for some years to come.

 

[Kenneth K]

I heard recently of the story of Manfred Fritz Bajorat, found mummified at the chart table of his boat and thought, what a perfect way to go.

Right. I think the fallacy that "turning your boat over to someone younger is better than letting fall it into disrepair as you age" is misleading. First, it may just be fanciful thinking that a new owner treats your boat with care and respect. Maybe they paint it purple and rename it LunaSea. Maybe they lose a job, a spouse, or their interest in sailing and they leave your boat to wither away at the dock (just as you feared doing). Secondly, there's nothing wrong with using the boat less as you age. There are lots of things we do only once or twice year--travel abroad or cross-country, go to a drive-in movie or go bowling, meet up with certain old friends. If money is no issue, what's wrong with a semi-annual day sail or just dinner and drinks at the dock. Third, I think it's another fallacy that it's such a crime to let an aging boat fall into disrepair. Our boats, like us, have finite lifespans. Some of us will make it to 100, but likely none of our boats will. Why not let your boat grow old and frail along with you. If you part with it, and another owner or two get a few more years out of it, has some great deed truly been served in the universe. We're all ultimately headed for the scrap heap. If your boat had a say in the matter, maybe it would say, "I'd rather grow old with you, my friend."

 

[Vtonian]

Oh raaather! The fellow was an inspiration to me for certain developments in my novel Rarotonga.


View attachment 54526

Ach, you scallawag, made me go look and fell into the trap: audio book, read by the author. Irresistible. Going to save it for the next weekender, bobbing on anchor, burger on the barbie, Cook Island dreams...

 

[ky ed]

I love me some duck eggs--better than chicken eggs that's for sure!

Man i don't know if duck eggs are better than chicken. Duck eggs says your near water. Chicken eggs means your on the hard near a chicken coop. So yeah ducks sre way better.

 

[ky ed]

So the reality of our situations is this. Your boat is way past 40 years old, your well past your prime and you know damn well that your days are numbered especially perfect days of sailing are down to less than a hundred. Boat is not worth the lead in her keel, its uninsurable, marinas managers dont want us going down their dock in a wheel chair or a walker to sit in tbe sun and have a sundowner or a pic-a-nic and doing any kind of maintenance is out of the question because its not allowed because of epa regulations and insurance stipulations. So your only respite is getting on your pride and joy to teminince or maybe toodle around harbor, lake or out of channel for one of your very last outings either alone or if your truelly lucky with a loved one that puts up with your tom foolery, or a person who is slightly interested in sailing or more importantly listenes to your tales of the sea.

 

[ky ed]

So the reality of our situations is this. Your boat is way past 40 years old, your well past your prime and you know damn well that your days are numbered especially perfect days of sailing are down to less than a hundred. Boat is not worth the lead in her keel, its uninsurable, marinas managers dont want us going down their dock in a wheel chair or a walker to sit in tbe sun and have a sundowner or a pic-a-nic and doing any kind of maintenance is out of the question because its not allowed because of epa regulations and insurance stipulations. So your only respite is getting on your pride and joy to teminince or maybe toodle around harbor, lake or out of channel for one of your very last outings either alone or if your truelly lucky with a loved one that puts up with your tom foolery, or a person who is slightly interested in sailing or more importantly listenes to your tales of the sea.

So Frank I say stick with it till the very very very sad end. Keep the boat you have now. Your to old and feeble to refit a new ready to sail used boat if you boght one. The sailboat that is a marketable item is more. That's a thing of our generation and we are the last of the sailors. 100+ sailboats are put into landfill to every brand new sailboat from the few remaining builders. So sad but true. People cant take the time to learn the roped let alone soen an entire day of sailing to go 25 miles, now a days they have to go 50 mph to get to where they think they gotta go. Instant gratification is the norm, we spent countless days fantasizing of some far away place. The weekends of hard but enjoyable work to enjoy that special moment when the dream we had of the destination came into view on the horizon. The wind was just right, the temperature was perfect, the crowds were small, the problems few and we had crew that was appreciative of the well earned less than 1 percent of boat ownership when all of the above fell into place. Please keep your boat wether on a trailer behind a chicken coop or tied to a dock or sitting on a stands in a boat yard. Its your boat enjoy it for what she offers you. Could be your man cave, an eye sore or a moulding rotting away piece of junk. It will do. When your dead what do you care. If some body has to haul it to the land fill its no longer your problem. You will be in sailers heaven aboard your shiny new sailboat apon a sea that will be made of all the things you could ever of wanted in this world. Why hell you could maybe reincarnated as as a rock who really knows? Keep your boat and people will say that dear old Frank was one hell of a sailor. Old feller had some real good stories. He bad that boat till the day he died and it made him happy. May he rest in peace. Amen.............

 

[ky ed]

So Frank I say stick with it till the very very very sad end. Keep the boat you have now. Your to old and feeble to refit a new ready to sail used boat if you boght one. The sailboat that is a marketable item is more. That's a thing of our generation and we are the last of the sailors. 100+ sailboats are put into landfill to every brand new sailboat from the few remaining builders. So sad but true. People cant take the time to learn the roped let alone soen an entire day of sailing to go 25 miles, now a days they have to go 50 mph to get to where they think they gotta go. Instant gratification is the norm, we spent countless days fantasizing of some far away place. The weekends of hard but enjoyable work to enjoy that special moment when the dream we had of the destination came into view on the horizon. The wind was just right, the temperature was perfect, the crowds were small, the problems few and we had crew that was appreciative of the well earned less than 1 percent of boat ownership when all of the above fell into place. Please keep your boat wether on a trailer behind a chicken coop or tied to a dock or sitting on a stands in a boat yard. Its your boat enjoy it for what she offers you. Could be your man cave, an eye sore or a moulding rotting away piece of junk. It will do. When your dead what do you care. If some body has to haul it to the land fill its no longer your problem. You will be in sailers heaven aboard your shiny new sailboat apon a sea that will be made of all the things you could ever of wanted in this world. Why hell you could maybe reincarnated as as a rock who really knows? Keep your boat and people will say that dear old Frank was one hell of a sailor. Old feller had some real good stories. He bad that boat till the day he died and it made him happy. May he rest in peace. Amen.............

 

[ky ed]

Made me cry!

 

[ky ed]

Made me cry!

Age restricted wth! Youtube search for THE SAILOR
Its the one with an old curly haired guy staring out a porthole. Damn good movie.

 

[Frank Langer]

Age restricted wth! Youtube search for THE SAILOR
Its the one with an old curly haired guy staring out a porthole. Damn good movie.

Thanks for posting about the movie "The Sailor", a very well done movie that has won awards. It's a bit tricky to find on you tube, but it's there, about 80 minutes length. It shows the last years of Paul Johnson aboard his boat-- he built boats all his life, always lived on boats, sailed across the Atlantic ocean many times.... but died alone at age 83, estranged from his kids. Lots to think about.
Frank

 

[ky ed]

Thanks for posting about the movie "The Sailor", a very well done movie that has won awards. It's a bit tricky to find on you tube, but it's there, about 80 minutes length. It shows the last years of Paul Johnson aboard his boat-- he built boats all his life, always lived on boats, sailed across the Atlantic ocean many times.... but died alone at age 83, estranged from his kids. Lots to think about.
Frank

A real sobering look at a lifetime of sailing. We all must end some day. That old guy stayed till the very end. It was just the sailor, some friendly locals, an old dirty greasy boat and a crew of fat cock roaches. The internet tells his story and was also his demise.

 

[ky ed]

So have you made any kind of decision on Morning Mist?