Sizing winches...
Like Greg, I have never seen (or heard of) a winch breaking up under load... Which does not mean it never happens...
What normally happens is the load overcomes your ability to turn the handle.
Our 34 footer came with the factory-optional winch package, which gives us Lewmar 46 primaries and Lewmar 43 secondaries (both ST). I can bring in the genny in second gear, with difficulty, in a breeze, and my wife cannot.
Part of the problem is the location and slight outward cant of the winches, so that only a tall person can really get right over them and crank. She is feisty, but still only 5'4" on a good day...

But also, there is the larger problem of undersized winches on all production boats. Even the standard option-upgrade packages typically only get the ratio's close to optimal for an average husband-and-wife crew. I figure that this is one area where a builder typically saves some real bucks. New owners seldom get out in heavy air for quite a while, expecially if they are new to sailing or new to that particular size boat. Undersized winches, as long as they are not obviously puny, never seem to deter a potential purchaser.
The real irony is that racing crews have more muscular and/or younger crew and often have much much larger winches than "cruisers."
And..... It's the cruisers that really need huge winches!
As to pricing, if you watch for annual sales, you should be able to get Andersen 46ST's for around 1K each, which would be my first choice for a 35 footer. Check the pricing at Rigging Only, on the web.
Best,
Loren in PDX
Olson 34 Fresh Air