Weather helm: @Phr3d : I agree with bgary's comment, but will add: I had a lot of weather helm in my 34-2, even when fetahering/making other efforts to keep the boat flat. The thing that made the biggest difference was... new sails. In fact, on this forum someone asked the age of my sails, and when I replied (23 years) they basically laughed and told me to post again when I had new sails. I don't know how old your sails are, and maybe they're new-ish, but total cost for me was $12k-ish, using a reputable local sailmaker (who game me more excellent advice in the process than any difference in price online would have compensated for, BTW). Now, even in 25 kts, properly reefed (and with fully open 90% jib), and feathering a bit, I have only 1-2 wheel spokes worth of weather helm. Less would be nice, but that is a lot of wind and no furling yet on the foresail. If you have old sails, you might look there first.
bgary's suggestion to ease the vang and mainsheet, letting the boom rise and thus the mainsail leech curve more and spill air out, is excellent. It also doesn't work quite the same when close-hauled, since the mainsheet is holding the boom down (so the vang isn't doing much) and if you ease the main too far then it luffs violently/flogs ($$ of sail wear). The trick is to bring the traveler to weather, and then ease the main until it has a "bubble" int he luff, reaching maybe 1/3 of the way back. The bubble doesn't flog if it's small enough, but helps depower, and having the traveler up allows the mainsheet to be out fuartehr for the same boom angle to the centerline fo the boat. More mainsheet out = more boom rise and leech curve = lower power int he main = flatter boat = less weather helm. This is a well-known technique, sometimes called the "fisherman's reef", presumably since it was easier to do for people working a boat than putting in an actual reef.
PS: Some people will argue (can get very strident, actually) that the traveler always goes _down_ in heavier wind, but that is appropriate only until you need to start spilling air out of the leech by letting the boom rise. Good sailing schools on SFBay (a high wind area) teach the fisherman's reef, and it definitely works.
Popping the vang works best off the wind (especially as one is on a deeper reach / downwind) -- then the boom will rise immediately and take a lot of pressure off the main and boat. Works like a charm, almost like shifting into a more relaxed gear.
Sail size: Pete the Cat suggests a smaller genoa; FWIW, I have a 90% jib which I use in the summer (high wind, 15-30 kts) months, and a 130% genoa I use in the (low wind, ususally 5-15 kts up here) winter months. I like the 130% because I can furl it (some or entirely) and still have a nice time in up to 20 kts, and yet with the full main and 130 up even 5 kts true wind is enough for me to enjoy being out. Below 5 kts steady I just don't go out, since I find it no fun... but the 130% extends my reach to lower windspeeds, which lets me sail more in the winter. For the summer, regularly 20-25 kts (and gusting higher) around here, I would prefer the 90% to anything bigger.
Self-tailing: Lastly,
@bgary , thanks -- I will try the extra wrap after tailing. Does that work when grinding, or only after grinding is done? I worry about overides/tangling.
PS: My experience is not that the line tension pulls the line out of the tailer, but just that the line doesn't stick in there well enough and slips out on its own as I grind. The boatyard assures me there are no spacers to adjust -- it's a v-groove and is what it is.
